Twelve.

I found this today. 

Midnight is fascinating.

Cocoon (Or 'How To Become A Butterfly')

Cocoon

There once was a caterpillar;
He lived in a cocoon
He used to wonder if he would ever see the sun
Or the moon, 
Or the stars shining brilliantly in the sky.
He wondered
What he would look like
When he would become a butterfly.
He'd only heard about all these
In poems or in stories
He waited, and waited, 
And waited to be free--
To be free, and to fly
From the cocoon in the tree.
He ate and he slept 
And he laughed and he wept
And he wondered, how he wondered!
Would he ever get out of the cocoon in the tree?
He remembered his mother telling him,
"You'll only be a butterfly
If you really, really want to try."
And so he tried.
He tried, he tried, and he
Tried to be a butterfly,
But he couldn't.
He couldn't be a butterfly--
He cried.
He thought of living 
Forever in the cocoon in the tree
He thought of giving
Up his fanatical fantasy.
But he didn't--
And he tried, he tried, he tried,
He cried, he cried, he tried
And finally he made a hole in the silk of his cocoon
(It wasn't a hole, but he called it one.)
And he cried tears of joy as he saw the starlight,
And he cried tears of joy as he saw the moon
And he broke out and flew away from his little cocoon.

 - Vruta Gupte.

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Pot Of Gold

I wrote this yesterday.  Hope y'all like it!

Pot of Gold

I met a traveler, he told me
To journey where no one has ever gone before--
To the end.
I asked him,“ The end of what?"
And he replied, with glinting eye,
"The end of the rainbow."
I asked him why, and he said
That people go there to get their pot of gold,
But they do not realize
That the pot of gold cannot be found there--
Instead if they look within themselves,
They will find all the gold they need.

~ Vruta Gupte.

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How To Write A Gross Food Poem In Less Than Twenty Minutes

A lot of my friends have asked me: "How do you do it?  How do you write funny poems that make us spew jelly all over our computer screens when we're reading any of your funny poems?"  Well, maybe not that second question, but, yeah, I guess the first question means the same thing. 

So in this post I am going to show you how to write a gross food poem in less than twenty minutes!  Because this is what life is supposed to be like--fast!  Mind-blowing!  Exhausting!  Draining!  Buzzing!  Annoying!  

And that's why you need to know how to write a gross food poem in less than twenty minutes!

Nah, I'm kidding.


Anyway...back to business!  

What You Need To Do To Write A Gross Food Poem

Step One: Listicle-ify it! (Four minutes)

Make a list of the grossest and most stomach-churning food items you can possibly think of.  Google "disturbing food dishes" or "fried tarantula dishes" or...well, you get the picture.  

Or you can make your own, like I did.  It's fun!  Don't do this while you're eating, of course, because the consequences....will be severe.

One thing I've noticed about my own gross food poems is, somehow, all of them contain some form of dead tarantula.  Blech!  What about you?

Step Two: Drum it!   (Four minutes)

Get a beat!  D'you want to make it a limerick poem?  A cinquain? A series of haikus?  (That's pretty interesting, actually.  I doubt anyone has ever tried to write a gross-food-haiku-poem.)

Tarantula fried
In whipped cream and marshmallows--
Ew, that's just so gross.


For example, if you're writing a limerick poem, your beat will go like this--

Da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
Da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
Da DUM da da DUM
Da DUM da da DUM
Da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

(Writing a Limerick's absurd,
Line one and line five rhyme in word,
And just as you've reckoned
They rhyme with the second;
The fourth line must rhyme with the third.) 
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)
  
Step Three: Rhyme it!  (Ten minutes)

Now that you've got your gross and possibly exotic dishes--and a rhyme scheme and a beat for your poem--you start rhyming!  (Yippee!)

You can get online rhyming dictionaries like RhymeZone and Rhymes.Net, but try not to use these too often either.  Rhyming dictionaries are also available on Amazon.

Step Four: Save it!  (One minute--if your computer's extra-slow, that is.)

What good is it if you forget to save your poem?!  There's no telling what today's technology might do if you force your computer to sleep.  It might become your nemesis.  (Adopts Voldemort-like whisper)  Bewaaare of the Eenformation Age...

'Nuff said.

Here's one of my own gross food poems--hope you like it!  (The poem, I mean, not the...food items.  That would be gross.  No pressure, though; each to his own.)



WELCOME TO GROSS FOODS  (Yes, what an imaginative title that was.)

For breakfast we have apple cider,

And all things that make tummies wider!

Of our esteemed French toast

I’m permitted to boast—

It feels like you’ve eaten a spider.

For lunch you’ll get baked angelfishes,

We deal with the ghastliest wishes—

We’ll give you rats’ stew

And grilled rabbit’s poo—

And a medley of such loathsome dishes.

We’ll give you a bat with its toenails

And chocolate ice cream with some blue whales—

Your stomach will burst

You’ve no time for thirst

We hope you liked all of our cocktails.

Come again soon to have a great dinner—

Sushi rolls will make you look thinner

We hope you drop by

(We’ll make sure you cry)

You’ll make our hotel such a winner!           

- Vruta Gupte.

Thank you for reading this, and see you next time!  

D'you want to look at some flowers till then? *smiles sheepishly*

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The Other Side

A few months ago I read an article in Reader's Digest.  I don't remember the name of the article, but it inspired me to write this poem:

The Other Side

There, on the other side of the fence, the grass is greener.

There, on the other side of the fence, people hurry through the green fields,

Trampling the patches of golden sunflowers in between.

They’re too busy; they have something else to live for.  Maybe it’s more 

important.

There, on the other side of the fence, no one drinks and no one cheats.

At least that’s what they show to us.  Who knows what really happens.

There, on the other side of the fence, it is always sunny and the clouds

Never frown at you.

There, on the other side of the fence, there is a big red barn

Where all the animals live together in peace and harmony.

There, on the other side of the fence, no one fights and no one swears.

Everyone has money.

So there, on the other side of the fence, there is perpetual happiness.

Or so it seems.

Here, on my side of the fence, there are dark clouds, rain,

Fights, tears, outbursts, penniless people, deaths, deadlines

And no ice in my darned soda.  It’s too hot outside.

Here, on my side of the fence, if you just glance at it for a few seconds, there is only misfortune.

But if you look closer, you will see that here, on my side of the fence, people’s problems make them stronger,

They realize that adversity is necessary for success,

And that everything isn’t really a bed of roses.

If there are no problems, how will they push their boundaries?

How will they touch the stars?

On my side of the fence, people grow as they face challenges.

On my side of the fence, people lead fuller lives.

On my side of the fence, there is darkness, but there is also room for light.

After all, what is good without bad?  What is light without darkness?

On my side of the fence, people do their best to bring that light into the lives of others around them.

On my side of the fence, we try our best to earn money, but we also try our best not to be superficial.

On my side of the fence, happiness and misery co-exist.

Now, imagine if someone tears the fence down, and my side and the other side isn’t really there anymore.

Will they become like us, or will we become like them?

*

Thank you for reading; see you on the next post!

Want to see another one of my poems?  Click here!

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How To Overcome Writer's Block

In the life of every writer, there is a time when they suddenly find inspiration in unexpected places and that becomes their next book.

But in the life of every writer, there is also a time when their brains are fuzzy and wobbly and…..let’s see…..not attuned to the Divine Force?

Yeah.

If that were death, I would’ve died five million times, excluding this one.

Dear me, I shouldn’t have said that.  My reputation is now at stake...(sighs deeply)

Anyway, today I am going to show you How To—how to—Un-fuzz Your Brain!  (Phew!  For a minute there I was wondering what to write.)

If you think this post is going to tell you what to do when you are….doing something you shouldn’t unless you’re twenty-one and with sober friends, this article is not for you!

There are times when we writers just cannot write, even if you hold a water gun to our heads and tell us to write your book report at one in the morning.  (Ack.)

How do we get out of such write-or-die situations?  The answer lies here:

Step 1: Get outta there.

Get out of wherever you write.  Try writing in a different place--if you write at your desk, try the cafe across the street (if there's a cafe across the street); if you write in your bed, sit at the dining table; go sit in another room, or go outside, if possible.  

If you write on Mars, well, congratulations.

Step 2: Listen to music.

Listen to Coldplay (oh, give 'em a chance, they're just experimenting).  Listen to The Piano Guys (yes!).  Listen to hard rock, soft rock, classical, pop, EDM, anything.  Anything that gets the blood flowing back into your brain.  Or ideas....flowing back into your brain, whichever you prefer.  You can't have everything, eh?  Kidding.

Step 3: Sleep on it.

Put your laptop to sleep (aw, I'm sorry, what happened?), or just shove your notebook outta the way, and get a good, long rest.  In this everyday ever-increasing bumble of homework and assignments and projects and presentations and examinations and traffic and workshops and Facebook and those annoying neighbours that turn the volume up so loud at twelve in the night, sleep will do you good.

Phew.

Step 4: Write something!

Sometimes the best way to overcome writer's block is to--you're a genius--write!  Write absolute nonsense.  Go off-track.  Joke around.  

Write two-word-long sentences.  

Write a satirical piece on how humans have degraded the environment for years, or how if you're a good host, you should ask your guests if they want "tea, coffee, or Wi-Fi", or how countries are spending millions on defense and less on education improvement and poverty reduction.  (YES.  Write about that.  We need to write about that, donchyathink?)

Step 5: Go outdoors.

Take a walk, man!  What are you doing sitting in front of your computer reading an article about how to overcome writer's block?  

Hasta luego, amigos!  See y'all on the next post!  

Peace.

P.S. I've added Disqus comments on here.  Please click on the time-stamp near the end of the post to comment.  (If you don't have a Disqus account, you can still comment as a guest with a custom name.) Thank you!