Tuesday 18 March 2014

How Not To Make Vegetable Soup

So I was wondering how to start out here...and this hit me.  Bad, bad veggies!

VEGETABLE SOUP

Vegetable soup!
Oh, the despicable soup!
The formidable, throwable, undrinkable goop!

It’s garbage!
An outrage!
A diet gone wrong!
(But I admit that my stomach has become somewhat strong.)

It’s got beetroot, and carrot, and rocks with salt;
It’s got grapefruit and celery, shoe polish and malt!

Unhealthy!
A folly!
A delirious looting scheme!
(I think it’ll be delicious if they just add some cream.)

It’s got potatoes, tomatoes, and lava volcanoes!
Got turnips and spinach and half-baked mosquitoes!

It’s gross!
Adios,
I’ll never eat it again!
(Though I doubt my stance is supported by all men.)

If ever I look in a recipe book,
There’s this one thing I’ll never cook—
Vegetable soup!
Ah, the despicable soup!
The formidable, throwable, undrinkable goop!


Note to readers: Don't try this at home.  Please.  But if you do, give me some credit.  (I'm kidding.  Don't call 911.)  Thank you.





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